What you believe about spirit has everything to do with your success.
You will struggle to receive the results you crave if you bypass connecting emotionally to your relationship with the divine.
(FYI, moving forward I will be inserting the word divine when referencing this big concept, feel free to insert your own identification ;)
When my son was diagnosed at 3wks with a chronic illness I was pissed. I hated god, I felt betrayed, abandoned even duped. I thought, how could I be such an idiot, believing that any-THING cared about me or this perfect little baby that I loved more than anything I had ever loved in this life.
My entire belief system crumbled. It had been deteriorating for several years at this point, but this was the final blow and I did nothing to stop it. I let my rage crash and thrash until nothing remained. I resolved that it was up to me to “fix” our lives since “god” had bowed out.
As a result, I unintentionally (or maybe a little intentionally) took on the role of god for my child. I tried to control every piece of his care and security. I synced his happiness as my own and reorganized my world so that every thought and action I took was centered around him.
To put it mildly, it didn’t work. It was awful and no one was ok.
I quickly became overwhelmed, frustrated, irritable even paralyzed. I was constantly projecting fear and anxiety onto my family and creating chaos. In the midst of the chaos a dear friend simply said to me,
“Miriam, Noah chose you to be his mom.”
With that one beautiful revelation, the delegation of power in which I participated in for the majority of my life shifted dramatically. It was like she knocked on a memory that was buried deep in my victim-mindset mentality and pulled my thoughts inside out.
My son was not a victim, I was not a victim and the belief system I grew up in that insisted I was a pawn in a game of righteousness started to loosen its grip in my heart. That day I was gifted a reflection of the truth of who I am from a mirror that was held up to me from a place of love.
In this reflection I was reminded of these things. If I continued to believe that I had no power then I would stay powerless. If I continued to see my son’s medical diagnosis as something that was done to him instead of a decision that his soul deemed important to experience in this life time I would remain bitter. And if Icontinued my attempt to control every single aspect of not only my life but the lives of my people I would live a miserable life full of fear and chaos. And I knew for certain that I had no desire to live a life themed with powerlessness, bitterness and fear.
This re-orientation of power from a god who controls to a divine energy that trusts was a massive game changer. It was such a breath of fresh air to step out of the rubble of my deconstruction. Instead of trying to rebuild from pieces that never really fit, I was shown a blank canvas, a whole new way to look at my life and my understanding of the divine.
Were my beliefs around god and the universe and my soul and all these things solidified on this day?
No, no they were not.
What was established, however, was the freedom to ask questions and the courage to hear the answers in a way that settled my soul.
Maybe it seems uncomfortable to associate success with the divine (or maybe this is some leftover conditioning from my many years in christian culture) but what we believe about ourselves, what we believe about the divine effects our reality and our ability to experience satisfying success.
If we believe that we are not worthy, that we come into this life already marked for failure, we will live our lives expecting failure.
If we believe pleasure is wrong and joy is just a bonus not a requirement of life, then our lives will carry a thread of frustration, bitterness and anger.
How you see the divine has everything to do with your success.
Gift yourself the time to pause and reflect on your beliefs.
Are the beliefs you carry truly yours?
Do they resonate with you on a deep level?
Do you wish you had a clearer understanding of what you actually believe and are you willing to be generous with yourself as you seek that clarity?
Let your answers be just answers. No need to create story. Let these questions be that mirror, lovingly held before your beautiful heart gifting you with an opportunity to reclaim that freedom you might be longing for. Longing to ask the questions and feel safe hearing your answers.
It is safe to long for more, to rest deeply in the love of the divine and for it to feel intimately unique to your needs.
Walking with you on the journey.
Miriam